The things people say...
I've come across a reasonable population of dumb people, who (in order to do justice to their title) say the dumbest things, in the dumbest situations ever! Here's a little countdown, starting with the least dumb to dumb personified!
5. How's school / college / classes goin?
OR
I hope you're studying hard..
If my classes were a wreck or my school was a mental asylum or the college goon was making my life miserable, I'm quite sure I wouldn't tell you, unless you could actually do something about it. If you could do something about it, I wouldn't wait for you to ask. You already know that I will be hurling the stereotype answer "Its going fine" at you, so why bother to ask?
As for "I hope you're studying hard...". What do you expect me to say, besides giggle and say 'yeah'. Many a time, I've been tempted to hit back with, "Naah, education sucks big time. I bunk college and dope with my friends, and I kinda lose track of time, so I end up missing classes as well and by the time I reach home, I'm too high to study.." That will definitely save me from the career questions that are bound to follow.
4. (at babies) Awwww... How cute!
I'd like to make an all universe announcement here -- BABIES ARE CUTE, I repeat BABIES ARE CUTE. Trust me on this one guys, but their parents were aware of this fact, way way way before you realized it. Shocking isn't it? I know.. parents are so smart!
3. (at a girl, when she's with her mom) OMG! I thought she's your older sister.
Major insult! If you think that you're scoring some big time brownie points by telling a girl that her mother looks like she's your elder sister, then you just don't deserve to live. Seriously, here's a teaspoon of water, now drown in it! Let me elaborate a bit :
A 20 year old girl, will have a 43 year old mother (atleast).
If she looks like she's the girl's elder sister, then the girl looks around 35.
Whoa! What a compliment! Won't that make any girl's day.
(psst, wise guys.. the mother knows you'll are lying, I told you parents are smart)
2. (at the breakfast table) Hey! You woke up!
OMG! You noticed! Damn! I can't ever hide anything from you, can I? Dude, are you in the secret service? Thanks for telling me though..
I wouldn't say that to anyone, unless I expected them to die in their sleep, and I was completely disappointed to see them walking around -- hail and hearty.
(drumroll)
1. (at someone who looks sad / depressed or is crying) Are you all right?
Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I always look like this. Makes you wonder what I look like on a bad day, doesn't it?
Conclusion:
Live and let live, please..
19 comments:
do you blog????
(trumpet kicks in...pa pa ra pa pa pa)
over brimming sarcasm!!
loved this post.. wholesome entertainment!
hehe..:) well, you gotta agree, am sure you ask AT LEAST 5 silly questions in a day too!:D but awesome post!
oh oh, and i got one more, like when the waiter comes up to you and says, 'can i take your order?':D
Well, consider these questions, too...
1) People asking kids, "Do you love your mother more, or your father?"
Possible answer: Since I'm thankful you're neither my mother nor my father, I happen to love them both pretty equally.
2) At a bus stop: "When will the bus come?"
Possible answer: Hang on, I'll just rig up my "Super Bus Sensor" and letcha know.
3) Random relatives when calling on my birthday: "So, got any plans?"
Possible answer: Considering it's my birthday, I'm going to have to spend the entire day picking up calls from random retards such as yourself who only surface at this time of the year. NOW SHOOO!
Great post! :D
sorry, but all babies aint cute!
Just few months back ,there was this baby...really ugly and I told a friend of mine! "Bad luck , he aint cute even most of them are actually"
She said that I am going to hell.
Bt whatever all babies aint cute.
sorry, but all babies aint cute!
Just few months back ,there was this baby...really ugly and I told a friend of mine! "Bad luck , he aint cute even when most of them are actually"
She said that I am going to hell.
Bt whatever all babies aint cute.
By the way 'Meoow'
Indeed, very stupid questions.
I never answer them the way they want me to. The following are my solutions...
5.I tell everyone I'm going to fail so they feel better. =)
4.I tell my friends that babies are meant to be eaten...raw.
3.This will never happen to me thankfully. :|
2.No one asks me this...they figure it out once I begin to crib the moment I wake up. =)
1.I show no emotion as far as possible. It helps avoid the question.
@JK: Did you have to copy-paste everything from your previous post just to say 'Meoow'?
@FLo no, nope not actually.
I actually copy pasted the whole thing cause in one sentence I missed writing "when"
but when I was there what the hell
meowwwwww. ;)
best is...Pappu tu aagay?? and as they say in Britain "Pappu have u arrived?" Pappu "no m arriving...."
heehee pj
Can Raagman Comment?:-D
1)"HEY SSUP?"
HOW could you miss that^ mani?
The most annoying and trite question i come across in both oral and written forms.:X
"Dudes" of my college come up with this crappy question to me on every possible occasion.
I never will figure out what's the answer they're looking for.
Anyway,Babies are cute as long as they're not yours. :P
^That was me.
Anyway,Some more hackneyed comments and questions you encounter.
1)How's life?
Now what do they expect,"Life's good/boring/frustrating...What?
2)(Guys to girl)
You're looking really good in this top or Nice top!
Why does no girl ever answers,"That's why i bought it,Idiot!" instead of the huge welcoming smile that comes along while thanking the "Dude".:X
3)What are your plans for your birthday?
WoW!...What a self-inviting question that is!
I obviously wouldn't reply..."Yeah,I'm throwing a party at bombay blues...But you aren't invited a**hole.
I have to call everybody much to my bankruptcy.=(
Mani Moti,Love your blog,There's so much to comment.=)
i DONOT think that babies are cute. at all. well...ok, a few are. but thats just a handful. :| they cry, whine, wet you, shriek soon as they are taken in your laps, keep drooling all over your place and ALWAYS want something that isn't easy to come up with.
there... hang me! :|
hey, thanks for the comments guys :D
@ poohi:
>-- :) --<
@King Paul VII:
not five, but maybe one per day.. :p
@moo:
awesome :D
@JK:
agreed, but most of em are...
@flo:
I need to try the 'show no emotion' technique..
@Ishaan:
LOL :p naah, it was good..
@Anurag:
the 'nice top' one really gets on my nerves.
@Kritz:
when babies start crying, it means you're supposed to run in the opposite direction.. :p
Write a new post.:X
now if i say.... relly funny post!
whts ur reply to that?
I like the way you present it!
Its dark but subtle.
Good read!:D
Conclusion:
Die and Let live.
:D
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