Parents' Favorite - The Blame Game

Seema Khandagle was crossing the railway tracks to get to her college, while talking to someone over the phone, when the Howrah Mail hit her. This is what her father had to say: "I bought her a cellphone because I wanted that her to be contactable when required. But I never thought that the same cellphone would cost her her life". In other words, had it not been for the cellphone, his daughter might have still been alive.

A common scene at a PTA meeting would consist of a cluster of parents, grumbling away to glory about the idiot box and computers, spoiling their precious kids, distracting them and keeping them away from productivity. These are the same people (well, 90% of them are) who discuss religiously watched daily soaps in train compartments, office canteens and over the phone.

After thousands of years of brain damage and Dr. Phil books, parents have come up with a foolproof plan to wash their hands off all responsibility, regarding their childrens' irresponsible behavior - the blame game.

This article has been written in public interest. We know that most irresponsible parents don't have enough time to devote to nurturing their fragile kids' fragile minds, so here are a few 'ready to use' excuses they can hurl at all those fingers pointing at them, accusingly.

1. When your child prefers comic books over serious reading:
You can always blame someone else's kids. Other people have kids just so that you can blame them for your child's shortcomings and mistakes. On the other hand, if your child lends his comic books to other children, he's just adorably generous.

2. When you child runs amok and misbehaves:
Blame Shin Chan. He is the demon himself. When your child watches Shin Chan, the demon crawls through the television screen and possesses your child's soul forever. Due to his unholy influence, your child back answers his elders, refuses to do chores and breaks expensive furniture. This has nothing to do with you giving a damn about discipline and letting him watch any bullcrap telecast on television, in the name of cartoons. You were busy. You were coming up with convincing excuses.

3. When your child indulges in junk food and aerated drinks:
Damn those Khans, Kumars and Kapoors. Endorsing junk and trash, day in day out! Since you have no control over your children and they do (since your children spend more quality time with them rather than with you), its their responsibility to drill it into your child's head that the product that they're endorsing is a slow poison that will either dissolve their bones or finish them off with obesity (or both).

4. When your child turns violent:
The video games did it. Call of Duty. GTA. God of War. Doom. Need For Speed. Counter Strike. All those lovely games you bought your child, sneakily turned him into a Ak47 totting, highway racing monster. After all you did for the gaming companies, after all the profit they earned thanks to you, this is what you got in return?! Don't you feel cheated? Let down? You are not alone. There are tonnes of parents out there who left their children unattended to, with equally innocent video games, and are now paying the price of their naivety. Wait till you hear about all the other neat stuff they've learned from video games. You'll be so proud!

5. When your child jumps off the terrace, trying to fly:
Do you remember the time Shaktimaan was pulled off air because some kids flew to their death? I do. I do because Shaktimaan was one of the few programs on television that paid attention to teaching kids about 'good' and 'morals'. Apparently, they assumed that their audience's guardians were blessed with common sense. The good news is that Shaktimaan is back on air. Parents now have a variety to choose from (Spiderman, Superman, The Justice League, The Fantastic 4, etc... etc...) when it comes to blaming some influencial figure for their kids' broken bones.

6. When young girls diet to malnutrition:
Blame Kareena Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. As much as I'd love to let parents get away with this one (I resent the two, really resent. Sorry N), my conscience is stabbing me with a unicorn's horn, so bye-bye biased opinion. Why is she shrinking into nothing like Himesh Reshamiya's acting career (Huh?! Acting career?!) ? Can you not tell what your child looked like one week ago? Ofcourse you can't! I bet you wouldn't manage to pick out your child from a group of ten anorexic teenagers, because they'll all look the same!!

7. Vices:
Here you may divide the blame between two parties - (a) peers and (b) movies. Peers may not be as easy to blame, since they're someone's kids too and that 'someone' might not take too kindly to his or her kid being given the role of scapegoat. Movies, on the other hand, make the best scapegoats. Well, atleast they did, until some parents went overboard and got 'smoking onscreen' banned. They must have suffered the wrath of thousands of irresponsible parent-victims, left without the support of one of the strongest pillars of excuse history. Don't worry, the bad guys are still allowed to smoke occasionally.
How could you have noticed those drooping shoulders? That stench of alcohol (It might have been you with the stench, for all you know) ? Those red eyes and dark circles.. Nobody looks at their kids EVERYDAY, right? Right...

---

When your child passes away, while illegally crossing railway tracks and carelessly chatting with friends, don't blame the cellphone. Call me insensitive, but minor details like NOT CROSSING RAILWAY TRACKS DUE TO RELATED HEALTH HAZARDS should be permanently inscribed into a child's memory. Using handsfree while attempting such a dangerous feat is disaster waiting to strike, which it unfortunately did.

Talk to your children and be part of their lives. That's the only way you will know where they're going wrong. When things go wrong, no excuse is good enough to wash away the guilt. The day parents take responsibility and raise their children to grow into responsible adults, there will be fewer "Seema Khandagle" incidents. May her soul rest in peace.